Lifts and Separates

Those of us over a certain number of years remember Jane Russell hawking "Cross Your Heart" bras on TV...the ones that, "Lift and separate," she chirped into the camera with a smile.

Ya know what doesn't "lift and separate?"
This:













Worst part? Depending on the website you go to...this thing can set you back over three hundred bucks.
WHY would anyone BUY that, you ask?
Lymphedema.

Why am I not even gonna consider this thing, even if my armpit swells to the size of Iowa?
Itsafugly.

I draw the line...right here and right now on this bad boy. Nope, no, not eva gonna happen, nyet, no.
How about a side of NO.

See, this is my line in the sand....prior to breast cancer, I wore pretty bras. Lacy bras. Bras that were available in many colors. French demi bras (my personal favorite). Bras that supported---yet made the girls look good.

Now that I am post-treatment and poofy, I am supposed to wear some psyche-ward reject just because my left breast went rogue?
I. Don't. Think. So.

I will practice self lymph massage. I will keep my PT appointments. I will do whatever I can to keep this condition from forcing me into industrial underwear marketed by Goodyear.

As god as my witness...